In a moment of decision,
the best thing you can do is the right thing to do.
The worst thing you can do is nothing.
Theodore Roosevelt

Funny isn’t it? My last post was on hating school. Now I’m hating again and the object of hating is my feeling. Everytime i think of writing a post this year, I end up not feeling like it. Almost everytime I think of doing something that is important and not urgent which is the quadrant highly effective people operate in, I eventually don’t feel I’m in the right frame of mind to do it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not naturally a hater but I’ve tried to motivate myself as much as possible but the motivation ends when the adrenaline is used up.

I haven’t written more than 2 posts in almost 200 days. If that isn’t bad, I’d like to know what’s worse. This feeling that I’m feeling or that I feel regularly is really pissing me off. I’ve come to discover that no one ever makes it in life because of their feelings. I’m sure people everywhere also have the same experience I’ve described above with regards different things. I know you are saying, why don’t you then do it when the adrenaline is pumping? why don’t you eat that frog? As if you don’t know there are 1001 reasons why. The frog is bitter….The frog isn’t well cooked yet…I don’t have a fork…The frog is too small….The frog this, the frog that. Simply put, it wont ofcourse be out of place to say that I’m suffering from a chronic case of procastination.

I hear there’s good procastination and there’s bad. That is it may not be bad if I have acute “procastinitis”. Please forgive my word but I just couldn’t help it. Good procrastination some say is avoiding errands to do real work. I’m sure my own brand is in no way good. I’m tired of responding to my feelings especially when those feelings make me put off important decisions or make me do wrong things. I hate the feelings that I’m feeling.

No wonder success is boring and unemotional. Those who achieved it did it regardless of how they felt. If there was something to be done, it must be done. I don’t want to stop feeling, I want “feeling like”, I just want to do. Nike, I need your inspiration right about now. I hate the feeling, I’m sure of the doing. Can’t wait to start doing in earnest what I’m sure of rather than what or how I feel.

“Procrastination is the fear of success. People procrastinate because they are afraid of the success that they know will result if they move ahead now. Because success is heavy, carries a responsibility with it, it is much easier to procrastinate and live on the “someday I’ll” philosophy.”

Hi Everyone, I wish you all a very prosperous new year. I saw a news flash this morning that stated that Americans were not optimistic at all about a good 2010 but I assure you that if you trust in God and do His word, He’ll single you out for outstanding revelations on what to do in a failing world economy that’ll guarantee your immense success this year without a shadow of doubt. I watched a movie in the last few days of 2009 and want to share my thoughts about that movie.

The title of the movie is “Flawless” and I’m sure you may have watched it. The actual plot of the movie had to do with a very senior executive played by Demi Moore who kept getting passed on by the management for promotion in a Diamond producing company and a janitor played by Michael Caine who assumedly wanted to retire rich. Both of them colluded to rob the company of a few pieces of diamonds, at least that was what Lara Quinn (Demi Moore) thought until she found out with shock that every single piece of the diamonds had been stolen – about 2 tonnes of diamonds. The details of the plot I won’t go into now because that isn’t where the major lesson I learnt was.

After the theft had been successfully carried out by the old janitor (Michael Caine), Lara really got jittery and remorseful begging him to please return the diamonds because they were going to be caught by the insurance investigator who seemed to be gaining ground in his investigation especially with his interest in her as a prime suspect becoming more intense. She regularly required to meet with the janitor at different nondescript places to express her fears and to implore him to give up the diamonds but he wouldn’t budge.

Eventually, she determined to find the diamonds where they were stowed and started her own parallel investigation. She finally stumbled upon a clue that led her to the diamonds but before she could alert the company, she was held hostage by the janitor for a few hours until the insurance company paid the sum of $100million to an account the janitor had anonymously demanded they should pay into. While he held her hostage, he asked if she had been thinking about what she was going to do with her own part of the ransom ($10million). ARE YOU GOING TO BE A TAKER OR A GIVER?

The janitor apparently had a grudge to settle with regards to his dead wife and simply wanted to take it out on the insurers who had refused his wife health insurance when she was ill may years ago. The CEO of the insurance company eventually committed suicide which seemed to satisfy the janitor as revenge for what that CEO had done to his wife several years ago. The janitor disappeared before the stash of diamonds were found and was never seen again by anybody.

Lara Quinn didn’t go to prison for helping find the loot and confessing to the conspiracy and the company got back all its diamonds. She retired later to find out shockingly that an account had been opened in her name in an offshore account with a balance of $100million. She then decided to dedicate the next 40 years of her life to ensuring that every single penny of that money was used to help other people around the world either regain their health or find a new reason for living. She paid for organ transplants of different kinds for different poor people all over the world through a foundation she opened; she paid for education for several indigent students and built schools. She kept empowering poor and rather  unfortunate people till she had spent every last penny.

40 years later, she felt at peace. “At least and at last”, she told herself, “I have turned a previously criminal and very bad situation into a very beautiful solution”

The Moral:

In 2010, God is going to give you a lot of opportunities and resources; those we plan for and those that happen along our way without our pre-knowledge; those we think are negative and those we are sure are positive; those we imagined and those we didn’t dare imagine; those that are just sufficient, not sufficient and more than sufficient. Let me ask you the same question?

ARE YOU GOING TO BE A GIVER OR A TAKER?

…Ponder on these things. The year will tell.

Hi folks, I know you want to say “where have you been for all these months?” or ” How come you haven’t written a single article in 4 months?” I really don’t know the answer. I must admit quite honestly that even right now I don’t feel like or want to write anything.

It’s not because there aren’t things to write, it’s just because I feel quite unmotivated and unworthy to write them. Anyway, I’m writing now ain’t I? So please just bear with me and read on…this will bless you.

I once heard about the parable of the monkeys. Once upon a time a monkey was placed in a particular cage with a bunch of bananas hanging from the top of the cage. Naturally, the monkey swung up the cage excitedly and reached up for the bananas, he was immediately doused with a jet of cold water from a hose that was aimed at the cage. Immediately, he dived back down to the bottom of the cage. Of course, monkeys don’t give in that easily so he tried again – no one was going to deter him from feasting on the bananas. He swung up again to retrieve the bunch of bananas but as soon as he almost touched it, he got doused with water again. He immediately dived back down looking for the source of his affliction (apes hate water). He couldn’t really see anybody and tried after a few minutes. He got doused again. He tried again and again and each time he got doused again and again. After a few days and many attempts, he stopped trying.

One month after, another monkey was brought into the cage. The monkey saw the bunch of bananas and immediately went for it (Note: The bunch of bananas were changed to fresh ones from time to time). He got the shock of his life as a jet of cold water hit him in the face. He quickly scurried to the bottom of the cage and waited a few minutes for the shock to wear off before trying again. He got the same result and after trying a while and getting drenched, he understood why the first monkey wasn’t as eager as he was to eat “free” bananas hanging at the top of the cage. He also succumbed to fate and stopped trying to get the bananas.

Another month after, a new monkey was introduced into the cage. As custom will have it, he went straight for the bunch of fresh bananas he saw hanging at the top of the cage but the other two monkeys went for it as pulled it down with his legs. They immediately pounced on it and beat it silly and into submission. They did that because they knew he would get sprayed with water  and all of them will get wet. They didn’t want to get wet and they knew that he wont get the bananas anyway so they took steps to ensure it didn’t happen. After a while of trying and getting beaten, the monkey gave up trying. One month went by and another monkey was introduced into the cage. He suffered the same fate as the 3rd monkey only that the 3rd monkey was involved in beating him up and keeping him from getting the bunch of bananas.

After a few weeks, the first two monkeys were taken out of the cage. Now of the two monkeys remaining in the cage, none of them actually had water sprayed on them for reaching for the bananas. They were only restrained with pain by the first two monkeys.

Yet another month went by and another monkey was introduced into the cage. He immediately was giving the customary beating treatment when he tried to get the bunch of bananas. After trying a while and getting beat a few times, he suddenly blurted

“Why are you monkeys beating me and holding me back?”

The other monkeys looked at themselves blankly and said

“We don’t know, we don’t know why we are beating you? We were beating as well when we came and tried to reach for the bunch so we just took on the custom of beating every other monkey who tried to reach for the bananas”.

How many of us are like that? We don’t why we are where we are or why we are doing what we are doing. We just know that that is how it should be done. Who told you that? Who told you that you must have only one stream of income? Who told you that you can not live above sin? Who told you that you can’t own your business? Who told you that you can not be financially free?

We were mostly brought up hearing our parents and environment say,

“Get a good education, get a good job thereafter, work all your life, retire broke and busted with a good pension and die!”

What a big lie!

You are like the monkeys!

Why can’t you dare the jet of water and pull out all stops to get the bananas!

What is your own excuse? Are you pulling others down who are trying to get the bananas?

Have you been enslaved by the system?

Do you merely wish freedom or do you DESIRE it?

Listen!!! those who have tried and failed have been taken out of the cage!

Ask yourselves what they did and how you can do it better?

Perhaps, if the three remaining monkeys planned to go for the bananas together the focus of the water spray would be divided and one of them would have been able to get the bunch.

Instead of proliferating negativity and pessimism, think of another way to achieve your dream and go for it.

LIFE DOES NOT GIVE YOU WHAT YOU DESERVE, IT GIVES YOU WHAT YOU DEMAND.

I am currently sitting on the second row of the New great hall of the University of Lagos Teaching Hospital with some great students of that college. Actually, sitting with me in the hall are scores of college of medicine and dentistry students looking all radiant in conservative coloured suits and blue shirts and blouses.

YBC is the name of the group that put together the symposium that is holding currently in the hall. I actually was dragged to the symposium by a dear friend, Christian Love who had been asked to come and speak on a topic “Working Class Heroes”. I really don’t remember ever being on the premises of this great hospital complex but am I glad to be here.

I love being in the midst of excited and energetic students if for nothing at all, to feel their energy, vibrancy and youth. Don’t mind me. I’m very much a youth and an energetic one at that. 

And for your information, YBC means Year Book Class. This I guess indicates the final year students in the college of medicine and surgery and dentistry.

The Hall wasn’t neglected in its decoration as drapes of different shades of blue and some pink hung as a back-drop in the front of the hall and decorations of royal blue with pink ribbons hanging from the stage.

The list of guest speakers at the symposium is quite impressive. From the Chairman to the other speakers, I caught names like Tonye Cole, MD of Sahara Oil and Gas, Mrs Craig from Poise Nigeria, an eminent professor and a very intelligent doctor, both female I might add.

As at the time of writing this article, the symposium/year book launch, the latter of which I just learnt about a few minutes ago is in full swing. In fact, launching of the year book is going on currently.

Anyway, why am I writing this post. As I sit down enjoying the excitement and energy of this gathering, I can’t help but wonder, 5 years from now. How many of these doctors would be engaged in upholding the health industry in this country. They will swear an oath in a few weeks to come but how many of them would die to keep that oath. The keynote speaker said in her presentation that the number of medical doctors practicing in the United States of America alone were 21,000 in 1995.

Part of the theme of the symposium is “The Solution to Brain Drain”. How many of these new doctors would not agree to allow their brains be drained? How many would not be satisfied with 3rd class and 4th class citizenry in countries that would accomodate them only because they need Taxi drivers, barbers, security men, soldiers, assistants and other non professional workforce.

My passion and love for this country causes pain to rise in my heart and burden to rest on my soul when I ponder what these graduands are moving into the working-class world to experience. Would they be depressed and discouraged by the harsh realities of a non-caring system. Would they be caught between observing and standing by the values of their profession in Nigeria and bowing to the prevalent corruption, selfishess and greed that currently exists in the society?

I really can’t answer these questions but I know that the fire is re-kindled in my spirit to do all I can and all I must to ensure that those who become doctors a few years from now will not have the same challenges and dilemma that these ones currently have.

I am the future of the world

I am the hope of my Nation

I am tomorrow’s people

I am the new inspiration

And we’ve got a song to sing to you

we’ve got a message to bring to you

we’ve got a dream

for you and for me and tomorrow (tomorrow)

If we all can agree, there’ll be sweet harmony

tomorrow, tomorrow

and we all will be there, coca cola to share

feeling so real and so (feeling so real and so true)

promise us tomorrow and we’ll make a better world for (make a better world for you)

Those are the lyrics of the 1986 advert song for coca cola. I remember singing it then with a lot of gusto even though I didn’t know all the lyrics properly. Apparently, I didn’t understand it fully as well. I didn’t know that in singing that song, I was making a commitment to the world and my country. I didn’t know I was articulating a message that was so deep.

As Nigeria celebrates children’s day today, I cast my mind back to how much of an adult I’ve become and much I miss from being a child. How much hope have I given my Nation? How much of an inspiration am I or have I been? 

This song seems so right for Nigeria. If only we can all agree, there’ll be sweet harmony. Why is there so much negative competition between the North, South, East and West. What does federal character mean? Why isn’t the job given to the best man suited and available for it? Why is a particular tribe seemingly more powerful and influential than others even when they can’t necessarily match or exceed the intellectual capacity of the other tribes? Why will certain children from certain regions enjoy privileges their counterparts in other regions don’t?

I am currently very passionate and very involved in Nation building in Nigeria. My sleeping and waking thoughts are filled with a Nigeria that is getting developed progressively even though my environment screams out otherwise everytime I check. We currently seem to be sinking into the directionlessness we suffered in during the pre-democracy years. Our leaders are bereft of ideas. They are plundering the treasury and living fat on the wealth of the Nation.

There’s no common wealth anywhere. The Federal Government is currently at war with Niger Delta militants for control of the oil-rich region. The militants have made common the practice of kidnapping people, sabotaging equipment and shooting the place up. They have become menaces in the arena but you can’t really blame them. They are simply products of the environment. Victims of the prevalent greed and lust for power around them. Having served previous governors and top politicians to intimidate and kill people, snatch ballot boxes and rig elections, they have beome monsters that are simply uncontrollabe even by previous godfathers and benefactors.

These young children are the future of the world. They are the hope of this Nation, though they don’t seem to be giving any hope currently. They are the new inspiration. Imagine if all our children grow up in this hate-filled, corruption over-run, greed saturated country. What will the future of this Nation be?

I read a story today of a father and step mother who tied a 10-yr old boy’s hands and legs and left him starving for 3 days because he was alleged to have stolen N10. What wickedness!! What kind of a future would one expect that child who has a been a victim of such cruelty and hate to create? Why would one expect him to grow up having love and compassion for his fellow citizens and the world at large after having been treated like a common animal?

We need to rise up and help create a world of love and a nation of values for our children so that they can in turn give us a great future and make the world a better place.

The children of Nigeria are thus crying to us grown ones today saying “Please promise us tomorrow and we’ll make a better world”. What are you and I promising them with our lackadaisical attitude to proper governance, values and development.

Will they witness a better future because of you and I? Or will these children and your children look you in the eye and ask “What did you do to make Nigeria the most desirable nation in the world”. “Did you do nothing and just talk or did you rise up and influence change in the Nation”?

I heard a teaching a few hours ago about marriage and character. How it’s so easy to be in a relationship claiming love couldn’t be more in any other relationship in the world than your own and when you are married to the same person you couldn’t get short of love for, loving now seems to be a challenge.

It’s said that 9 out of every 10 married men either cheat or will cheat on their wives. I honestly do not know the percentage or poll rating for wives but i guess it won’t be far from that either.

While some people have the gift of celibacy and are happy with being monks, ennuchs and nuns, some married folk can’t help envying them and wishing they were celibate in the first place.

In fact, many people have given up marriage as an impossible institution to succeed at one way or another. They believe that regardless of how much love and care a man and woman have for each other, once they get married, everything slowly unravels and ends up in shambles from the viewpoint of experience (bad experience in their own case)

Anyway, the truth is that the only way we can grow in marriage is if each of both parties commit to becoming mature and building character in marriage. There are married people whose spouses cannot pick their phone calls or read their text messages. Some cannot even tell their spouses the amount of money in their account. They believe it’s a personal thing especially because they slaved for the money in that account. “It’s personal” they say.

Trust becomes eroded easily in marriages like this. Some wives chase their husbands around town with phone calls in a bid to make sure that he’s not seeing other woman while using late night meetings as an excuse. Husbands and some wives kick vehemently against the eroding of their erstwhile independent lifestyles while they were single in marriage. They find very offensive an inability to go out at anytime they like, do what they want and buy what they want etc…. Someone or some people (spouse and children) sometimes need to approve before they can do those things.

It takes maturity or growth in character to live selflessly in marriage which is usually the lacking virtue in marriages that break up. Each party sees things from his or her own point of view only all the time.

Some partners in marriage even learn the art of manipulative negotiation by refusing to consent to some issues except they have their way. For example, some wives totally refuse or selfishly regulate their husbands having sex with them because they want this or that.

One 50-yr old man that was married for 30 years to his wife started having serious health issues. In fact, he had a terminal illness. In discussing with him, the doctor handling his medicals deciphered that the root cause of the illness was relational. He decided to speak with his wife and on investigation discovered that they hadn’t had sex in the last 20 years of their marriage. When he asked the wife why, she told him that her husband had a temper issue and she had thrown him out of her bed until he had completely sorted the issue. Imagine that.

The strength of a marriage is a pointer to the development of character on the sides of both spouses. It therefore makes sense to ask, “Are you mature yet? Do you have character?”. Do you ever see things from your spouse’s own end rather than yours? 

Partners who are willing to build character and grow mature have always noticed changes in their approach or response to things and issues. Wives who hated football became ardent followers of football because of their husbands; husbands who disliked going to the kitchen became excellent cooks etc….Your willingness to develop character would show in your willingness to learn. How “old” are you really?