A lot happened in 2010 no doubt and a lot more is happening in 2011. This year started over a week ago and is racing to the middle of the first month. I just realized that I’d  been so caught up in activities this year that I’ve almost missed my goals.

It’s quite akin to what we football lovers call  ”ball watching” on the field of play – a situation when a defender focuses on the ball and forgets to watch and stay with the opponent he’s been assigned to. I have been focusing on the events of the new year and almost forgetting my goals in the new year.

Talking about events and goals, I’m glad though that I’ve participated in a few because they seem to be directing me towards my goals.

I got to Warri, Delta State one of the South-South states in Nigeria yesterday for a Mega Business summit with Avenues to Wealth and listened to a presentation by one of my mentors, Deolu Akinyemi on what to watch out for in the new year. I couldn’t help but start my blogging with those points. I hope they’ll bless you as well.

1.  Stretch Yourself – Set goals bigger than yourself.

Somebody said you’ll miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. In 2011, the goals you set will determine the results you get. Don’t set goals you can achieve. Set goals that are beyond your reach by far. Set goals that will stretch your imagination and ability. Set goals that will push you out of your comfort zone. It is said that “if you aim at the tree you may shoot lower than it but if you aim for the sky, the worst that’ll happen is that you’ll hit the tree.” Don’t let fear keep you from dreaming and setting goals.

2. There’s a right time – Don’t miss it.

Not every time is your time. However, you may miss your time if you trivialise opportunities. Hugh Allen said ” Jumping at several small opportunities may get us there than waiting for one big one to come along.” Your opportunity may come from the least likely source. Stay tuned and keep your eyes open. I like a quote that says “Opportunity is as scare as oxygen. Men fairly breathe it and do not know it.” Benjamin Disreali said “The secret of success in life is for a man to be ready for his opportunity when it come.”

3. Develop the attitude of giving

Giving is gong to get you more in 2011 than you can imagine. Have a set goal for what you are going to give periodically before the opportunity to give presents itself. Go and seek who to give to if they don’t come to you. Give your love, care, money, time and other resources to bless and empower others and much more will find its way to you. It was Albert Schweitzer who said “You must give some time to your fellow men. Even if it’s a little thing, do something for others – something for which you get no pay but the privilege of doing it.”

4. Master the Wealth Equation – W = V*N*k

Where W = Wealth; V = Value given; N = No. of people; k = perception of Value given.

Wealth will be easier for you to earn in 2011 if you make up your mind to provide value for as many people as possible, even if the value isn’t much. Once the perception of the value is high, people will pay all the time for it and you’ll become wealthy.

5. Change your Relationship paradigm

Your relationships in 2011 will determine your results from it. Don’t undermine them. Show love when it isn’t even expected. Some one said “If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say?  And why are you waiting?  ~Stephen Levine”

Also some people come into our lives and quickly go. Others stay for a while and leave their footprints on our hearts and we are never ever the same.

Have a great 2011

I heard a teaching a few hours ago about marriage and character. How it’s so easy to be in a relationship claiming love couldn’t be more in any other relationship in the world than your own and when you are married to the same person you couldn’t get short of love for, loving now seems to be a challenge.

It’s said that 9 out of every 10 married men either cheat or will cheat on their wives. I honestly do not know the percentage or poll rating for wives but i guess it won’t be far from that either.

While some people have the gift of celibacy and are happy with being monks, ennuchs and nuns, some married folk can’t help envying them and wishing they were celibate in the first place.

In fact, many people have given up marriage as an impossible institution to succeed at one way or another. They believe that regardless of how much love and care a man and woman have for each other, once they get married, everything slowly unravels and ends up in shambles from the viewpoint of experience (bad experience in their own case)

Anyway, the truth is that the only way we can grow in marriage is if each of both parties commit to becoming mature and building character in marriage. There are married people whose spouses cannot pick their phone calls or read their text messages. Some cannot even tell their spouses the amount of money in their account. They believe it’s a personal thing especially because they slaved for the money in that account. “It’s personal” they say.

Trust becomes eroded easily in marriages like this. Some wives chase their husbands around town with phone calls in a bid to make sure that he’s not seeing other woman while using late night meetings as an excuse. Husbands and some wives kick vehemently against the eroding of their erstwhile independent lifestyles while they were single in marriage. They find very offensive an inability to go out at anytime they like, do what they want and buy what they want etc…. Someone or some people (spouse and children) sometimes need to approve before they can do those things.

It takes maturity or growth in character to live selflessly in marriage which is usually the lacking virtue in marriages that break up. Each party sees things from his or her own point of view only all the time.

Some partners in marriage even learn the art of manipulative negotiation by refusing to consent to some issues except they have their way. For example, some wives totally refuse or selfishly regulate their husbands having sex with them because they want this or that.

One 50-yr old man that was married for 30 years to his wife started having serious health issues. In fact, he had a terminal illness. In discussing with him, the doctor handling his medicals deciphered that the root cause of the illness was relational. He decided to speak with his wife and on investigation discovered that they hadn’t had sex in the last 20 years of their marriage. When he asked the wife why, she told him that her husband had a temper issue and she had thrown him out of her bed until he had completely sorted the issue. Imagine that.

The strength of a marriage is a pointer to the development of character on the sides of both spouses. It therefore makes sense to ask, “Are you mature yet? Do you have character?”. Do you ever see things from your spouse’s own end rather than yours? 

Partners who are willing to build character and grow mature have always noticed changes in their approach or response to things and issues. Wives who hated football became ardent followers of football because of their husbands; husbands who disliked going to the kitchen became excellent cooks etc….Your willingness to develop character would show in your willingness to learn. How “old” are you really?